When I say “FRIENDSHIPS” what comes to mind? Do you have a close friend or two? Are some of your friends more acquaintances than true friends? When times get tough what friends are there for you? Now, add grief and loss to the equation and look around to see who is still there for you?
Grief and loss situations have a way of shaking up the friendship and acquaintance balance. Sometimes friends step back from you and people who you don’t know well seem to be more helpful. There is no judgment on any one’s behaviour; it is what it is for whatever reason.
What causes a person to be supportive of someone else who is grieving?
Could it be;
- They have prior personal experience with death or loss
- They are the type of person people can easily talk with
- They are in the right place at the right time for you
- They are able to give the time and attention needed to be supportive
How would you be supportive of someone who is grieving or what would you want support to look like?
- Someone to be with even if there are long periods of silence
- Someone to do something with so you are not alone
- Someone who calls and checks in to make sure you are okay
- Someone who shows they care
- Someone who says, “you need to get out of the house” or prompts you to take small steps to do something after the loss
- Someone who is not offended by your needing time alone
Being supportive is;
- Not doing everything for someone else
- Listening but not necessarily agreeing with everything
- Encouraging
- Walking beside someone
- Finding resources that the other person had not thought of
- Being who you are and not faking it
- Sharing tears and sadness
- Talking about memories, happy or sad ones
- Having the ability to care and not carry someone’s grief
Some friends are here for a season,
Some friends are here for a reason,
Some friends are here for a long time.
The season, reason or length of time of a friendship is not important; it is the quality of the time spent together and the memories shared that create a lifetime bond to be honoured and cherished.
These bonds can be created at any age, with anyone. Perhaps, the universe, God or whatever you want to call it, puts people in our path when we need them the most.
Stay tuned…one day you may be put in someone’s path or maybe you are already there.
All my best
Barbara
“Image courtesy of renjith krishnan,/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”