Have you ever wondered what the special meaning of “good-bye” may have to someone when death is a focus of life? Who is saying “good-bye”? How is “good-bye” said? How hard is it to say “good-bye” or is “good-bye” necessary?
All of these questions can have sadness, grief and heart ache connected to them. Imagine for a moment; you are the person dying and several people come to visit you. You know they have come to say good-bye in their own special way. What does this mean to you?
Hmmm, have I got you thinking? The good-bye could bring a smile to your heart, knowing someone cares enough to come and see you before you die. Are there tears of sadness, perhaps? Are there memories shared, perhaps?
No matter who you are, consider for a moment how many good-byes would you have to or want to say, (if you had the opportunity) when the end of life is near?
Family, friends, coworkers and others in your life may come to see you or not!
Is it hard to do, telling someone good-bye? I think so and perhaps this is one reason why some people never say their good byes; it is not because they do not care, it may be the fact they do not have the emotional strength to do so.
The flip side of this scenario is if you are dying, do you want people to be coming around? This means they will see you when potentially you are at your most vulnerable time of life. Some people have said they do not want others to see them in this state; they may feel they look awful.
Another consideration is how long do you potentially have to live and how much energy does it take to see others for perhaps the last time? Do you set the rules or do family members say enough is enough and only family are allowed to visit?
For myself, I would hope my family knows how important friends are to me and allow for flexibility where they are concerned.
Age, relationship dynamics, distance away and not knowing someone is dying are all possible factors preventing a “good-bye” from being said. Another possible reason is belief.
Spiritualism, religion and personal beliefs can put a different spin on a good-bye. Some people believe death is a beginning, a transition to someplace else. Do you believe death is a good bye?
The next article is #14 “A Granddaughter’s Song”