“What if I had listened to that voice in my head?”  Have you said this to yourself or heard someone say this? What happens when you feel death results from your not paying attention or not acting on the perceived warning you received?

Some people call this intuition, that voice in their head, their angels or guides speaking to them. What ever it is defined as, there are people beating themselves up and believing they are responsible for the death loss.

Logic for some individuals will say, “there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome”. For the person who “knows” that voice and perhaps in the past had acted on the warning, this comment is of no solace for them.

When a death loss or a loss of some kind happens, some people feel this is destiny, but the “what If” question can be overpowering to the extent it causes a grieving individual deeper pain.  Not being forgiving of self can be crippling and a solitary place to be in.  No one else is putting this pressure on the person.

I have listened to that voice when I forgot to turn the stove off and it said “did you shut the stove off?” or “did you lock the front door?”  Now consider if the voice said “go check on your mom” but you do not do so in that moment or make a phone call.  Later you find out she really needed you.

Perhaps you can think of a number of situations when that voice called out to you.  Imagine the pain someone feels when think they “should” have reacted differently.  Blaming themselves may be an immense boulder they carry around with them.

This is an invisible boulder and unless the individual shares their concerns with you, you will not know what anguish is deep inside them.  This might be a chance to ask, what is going on with them.  Keep in mind that most people will not want to share the fact that they feel, they were the cause of this loss.

Kindness, compassion and a warm understanding may set the tone for questions that will enable this individual to open up to you.  No one can make someone else feel different, but by asking open ended questions, you may be able to help someone look at the situation from different angles.

It is impossible to prevent some things from happening, no matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we pray.  Death and loss are a part of everyone’s life.

All my best,

Barbara (Gillett) Saunders

I wonder if not listening to your intuition is equal to

ignoring a deep part of yourself;

trusting in YOU!

How much does it take to truly TRUST?